


BatBorder

by EsculentEvil



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Arkham Asylum, Blanket Fic, Budding Love, Crossdressing, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Halloween, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mature Jokes/Puns/Situations, References to Real People/Things, Romance, Secret Identity, Slow Burn, Winter
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-17
Packaged: 2019-09-20 23:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17031891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EsculentEvil/pseuds/EsculentEvil
Summary: Collection of interactions between Batman and Eric Border.Obviously set in Scott Snyder's New 52 'verse;Originally posted to my Tumblr @esculentevil





	1. Glasses

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the fact that I mistook some lines on my friend’s drawing of Joker for glasses.

Batman frowns as he scans the roster of Arkham Asylum.

It’s the middle of the night—nearing 0300—and there’s barely anyone staffed.

He’s about to storm out ( _There’s no one **helpful**  here!_) when a name stops him.

Eric Border is on graveyard.

* * *

 

It doesn’t take too long for Batman to find the willowy brunette.

His slight frame is highlighted by a lone lamp perched on the corner of his rarely used desk. Beside it are stacks of papers baring the asylum’s logo—in and out piles—which match the chaotic spread of reports sitting in front of him. There’s a worn notebook grasped in his thin left hand and in his right is a black glitter pen.

Batman tries not to be amused at it, “They let you get away with that?”

Eric jolts as he always does and the vigilante almost smirks at his expense. Almost. Instead, he approaches the slender, shaking man from behind and gestures at the glitter pen. He’s about to make another quip [because this man is adorable, alright?] when he notices something on Border’s face glints.

The masked hero freezes, “... You wear glasses?”

The small orderly sputters, clearly fighting his anxiety and bat-induced fright, before nodding slowly. It takes him a moment but, eventually, he waves at the unlit space around him and then to his little lamp, “Budget cuts... I, uh... My eyes aren’t what they used to be—and one can only read in ambiance for so long...”

The large Bat nods once to show he understands.

Then he just... stands there—silent.

* * *

 

Joker fidgets.

He isn’t used to this.

Normally, the Bat comes and goes almost instantly: barely leaving time for the orderly clown (Hoo **hoo**! Get i _t_?!) to breathe him and the Gotham night in.

Now... (He’s just... staring...)

* * *

 

“These are just... personal notes... so the asylum won’t care what I write with.”

Batman blinks. His whole body does a very interesting flex that almost looks like he’s gotten bigger [but Joker’s sure that’s only because he straightened himself]. Eric watches with curious eyes as the hero clears his throat and nods, “I see.”

Then, he returns to staring.

The orderly swallows thickly in response. He glances around, as though looking for something, before asking nervously, “Is there something on my face?”

[It has occurred to The Joker that his make up might be failing.]

The Bat blushes, “... Just your glasses.”

* * *

 

In a blink, his counterpart is gone.

Joker stares at his afterimage in a stupor.

Slowly, however, he smiles.

(So the Bat likes me with glasses, hm~?)


	2. Festive

“Border.”

“Haaa!!!”

Batman watches in carefully concealed amusement and affection as Eric Border drops his strangely black broom and whirls around with a frightened scream.

“B-Batman!” can only stare at the be _witch_ ing sight before him.

* * *

 

“... Are you...?”

The Joker allows himself to tremble as he scrambles to pick back up his broom. He hides his laughter under Eric’s scared exhales and grips the cleaning tool to his chest as though trying to protect or cover himself with it. (O~ Does he like it?)

Batman collects himself, “Why are you dressed like that?”

_That_  refers to the pitch black gown and matching apron that Joker is wearing—both of which appear to have been taken straight out of Colonial America. Border’s brown hair is also mostly obscured by a black cotton cap.

Over all: Eric looks like [a common woman from the 17th century](https://www.ducksters.com/history/colonial_america/womens_clothing.php).

Joker giggles nervously, suddenly unsure of himself—or Eric’s self; he isn’t sure. (Ha! I’m unsure what I’m unsure about!!! The hilarity, folks—can you believe it?!) When Mahreen accosted him with the outfit last week, he almost died laughing; but when she grinned and impishly suggested that it might be a bit  **bat** catching...

Well, neither Eric nor Joker could disagree.

And now it looks like Mahreen was onto something...

* * *

 

“I-I...”

Batman silently watches as Eric’s tapered fingers pick at the deep black broom. He wants to smile and sooth the smaller man but knows he can’t; he’s Batman. He’s grim and dark and anything but soft; the most he can do is not hurt Eric.

And he won’t.

Ever.

* * *

 

Joker clears Eric’s throat.

“I-it’s for Arkham’s  _Week of Hallowed Eves_ ,” he says, finally, in Eric’s quiet voice. With only slightly clumsy movements, the cross dressing clown turns and points at the flyer tacked to the bulletin board. It’s creased to hell and back and states:  _Let’s celebrate the harvest season with fun costumes and a lot of festive cheer!_  “D-Doctor Zaheer suggested I wear this... when I confessed I had no ideas...”

“Are you two in matching costumes?”

If Joker weren’t such a good actor, he’d have narrowed his eyes and growled. However, he’s an exceptional clown and that should never be forgotten: despite his sudden irritation, he only flinched and gripped his broom just a bit too tightly. “N-no, actually; she, uh, decided to go as someone called  _John Wayne_.”

Batman seems very surprised, “The actor?”

Joker shrugs, honestly uncaring, “She looks like a cowboy?” She does, really.

The vigilante nods, “Then she’s probably Rooster Cogburn.”

Eric blinks (Because he’s not that interested in Old Western movies and I really only know about this guy from  _Family Guy_  references of “John Wayne Pilgrim.”), “... He’s a  **rooster**?!” Joker turns, as though looking for Mahreen behind him, so that his amusement won’t be seen: he has so much  **fun**  with Eric sometimes!

Batman  **snorts**  (OMJ! He thinks  ~~I’m~~  Eric is FUNNY!!!), “No, he’s a cowboy.”

The orderly turns back, broom clutched to his chest in shock, and slowly calms, “O...” Suddenly, he’s blushing in embarrassment, all jealously over the idea that Batman might be more interested in seeing Mahreen in a dress than Eric gone.

Batman watches him blush in silence.

But Joker can see, just as he can always see beyond the protection of the mask, unusually warm forget-me-not eyes.

* * *

 

It should be a crime for a man to be this endearing.

Batman really thinks this.

Because:

Then it would be legal for him to take this man and lock him in the Batcave.

* * *

 

“A-anyway...” Eric stutters, “Did you... need something?”

Batman frowns and nods before inquiring about the states of certain inmates. Joker has no idea why he wants any of this information (Most of them are drugged out of their minds, anyway...), but he answers in spades (HA!).

Until Eric asks a question of his own: “Why... don’t you ever ask about Joker?”

The vigilante seems to pause and grow uncomfortable at that; but he answers: “Because he lies too much here; he’s more honest with me when we’re fighting.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession time: I actually forgot where I was going with this. I think I intended to have Joker tease Batsy some more or for Batman to make some moves on Eric; but I couldn’t get it working. Still, I really like how this ended: I like the idea of Batman not relying on anyone else to figure Joker out because he knows, and trusts, that Joker would lie to all of them but tell him the truth. It’d be a messy and convoluted truth, sure, but still a truth; and I think that’s romantic in a way. Also: sorry, I’m not sure I’m writing Joker/Eric’s relationship with Mahreen Zaheer correctly... xD; Anyway: hope you enjoyed it! I might try again at crossdressing!Eric cuz this was a lot of fun.


	3. Cold

Gotham’s Bat King makes no sound as he slips easily into Arkham Asylum.

The corridors are long and dark, unlit and unheated due to a power outage.

His mission this time is simply to get the generator back online.

He’s distracted when he sees candle light.

* * *

 

The Joker is FREEZING.

He can’t feel his nose, his teeth are chattering, and curling into a ball isn’t helping. He’d thought the backup generator would be on by now so when the lights went out he’d only focused on relighting his work space.

Now he’s stuck in a room kept fractionally warmer by candles.

Even if his coat would be heaven in comparison to Eric Border’s thin uniform, Joker refuses to leave this fractional warmth and just curls up even more.

* * *

 

The chattering of teeth greets his ears.

His whole body freezes as his mind becomes over taken by lethal comedy props and his pulse races as the thought of  _The Joker_  flashes in red across his mind.

His panic ebbs, however, when he lays concerned eyes on a shivering back.

A very  **white**  back.

* * *

 

“Border.”

“Haaa!” Joker leaps clumsily from his desk chair before stumbling to the floor in fear. He skitters back a little, unsure now if he’s playing this up for Eric’s benefit or if he’s actually afraid of something, until he recognizes Batman’s Kevlar.

“Are you alright?”

Joker exhales shakily before forcing Eric Border to nod and stand up. The cold makes him numb and embarrassingly clumsy, but he manages well enough. Once he’s safely leaning against his desk, he smiles nervously at the vigilante, “Y-yes. Thank you. A-are you here for the generator?”

Perhaps he can escort the beautiful Bat?

“I am,” the hero nods confidently. His tone then softens to that deep thrum Joker swears is reserved for Eric and Eric alone, “Are you cold?”

Joker wants to snort at that ridiculous question (Of course I am, you boob!); instead, he just nods shyly, “A little.”

“Hn,” is all Batman replies; then he’s gone, his cape shrouding Eric in warmth.


End file.
